Everything Hits At Once

The other night I had a dream that I was wooing a marginally attractive girl. I believe I was in college or something. In any case, I was certainly living in a building with a lot of dudes, and I think I had a roommate that I was worried might discover us.

The girl in the dream had a boyfriend, yet she had some interest in me, and being the pathetic type that I am, I was flattered by this and accepted her advances without much thought*. In fact, I convinced her to cuckold** this boyfriend. Thing is, after the act was finished, I knew immediately that it was a mistake. Not because I felt guilty about making the guy a cuckold. I just felt bad because I knew I didn't really have an interest in her. I actually found her annoying. Dream Me was just momentarily moved by the attention.

It became apparent to Dream Me that I could not just tell her how I was feeling, but instead I would have to let her down slowly, over a period of a few weeks, hoping that she would perhaps just lose interest over that time and make it easy for me. But just then there was a knock at the door while she was still standing in front of my mirror and straightening up. A voice shouted out that So-and-So had just finished preparing a whole mess of ribs and to come and get them. At this point I quickly turned to the young lady and said "Sorry, baby. Gotta go." And that was that.

I can't even begin interpret what this dream means, but it's worth pointing out that my opinion on ribs is very similar to my opinion on steak. They are really good (or great) less that 50% of the time, but that percentage is enough to bring me back again and again, even though they are typically just average (or even a total let down.)*** To go a step further, I think there is something genetically bred into men where just the thought of ribs makes us salivate. If someone is throwing a backyard party of some sort, nothing can bring men out more than the thought of free ribs. They seem to go with communal eating. So do crawfish and fish fries and even the standard hot dog/hamburger cook out. But ribs always seem to up the ante.

But I'm not sure why. Sometimes I prefer the hot dogs and hamburgers. Sometimes I get ribs at a BBQ place and I'm just a little let down when I'm done, but this never happens with a BBQ sandwich. But then there's the other times, when the meat is tender and seasoned well and it hits the spot just right. And that's why we come back for more.****

*This is certainly not that wild of a concept. I can absolutely name at least one time in my mid-twenties when I ended up dating someone briefly that I had no real interest in just because she was interested in me and I had nothing else going on. Honestly, I'm somewhat surprised I can only recall doing this once. Without much effort I can think of at least 6 other times when I was presented with that opportunity and I did the right thing and didn't lead anyone on. (Of course, there are also times when I might have considered this to be doing the WRONG thing and not giving someone a fair chance before ruling them out.)

**Technically speaking, I believe that term can only be applied to husbands, but I'm expanding the definition for my purposes.

***In case you're curious, here are some other items that often sound like a good idea, but seem to disappoint more than they should: Fried Chicken. Smoked kielbasa. Beef fajitas. Any type of Asian dish with shrimp. Thanksgiving turkey.

****Just in case you're more curious, here is a small list of meats (or meat items) that very rarely let me down: Bacon (though I feel it's rip off in restaurants). Pork chops. Chicken fajitas. A sausage biscuit. Any type of spicy sausage. Country fried steak. Hot dogs. Most fish items. Pulled pork. Baked ham. Pastrami.