Everything Hits At Once

It's funny how life works out.

I can't remember ever considering a life in Texas when I was a kid. Maybe it's a sign of old age, but I honestly don't ever remember wanting to live any place back then. I know I thought about going away to college, but I don't remember if that's because I was eager to leave home, or because I just wanted to go to a school that would make me happy. In any case, I know at least part of me was content with the idea of staying in Atlanta to be close to family, high school friends, and a girl*. Perhaps I had wild fantasies of living in Europe or something. I don't know.

Any way, fast forward 12 years and here I am, working on my third year of life in the Dallas area. Even in college, when part of me wanted to run away and explore new worlds and join the Peace Corp, I don't think I ever thought of Texas. After I visited for the first time in March of 2000, I realized that it wouldn't be a bad place to live, but it certainly wasn't a goal. I wanted to live abroad. Or at least in someplace cool and radically different like California or Washington. Or in the mountains of Colorado (I settled for the mountains of Idaho).

After seven years, my original opinion of Texas still holds up--it's not a bad place to live. But it sure as hell isn't a great one either. It's okay. Dallas is a big city and there's lots to do. In the last month I've been to a concert, an arts festival, a baseball game, and at least one basketball game (probably more). The state, on the whole, has a lot of things worth seeing, though it's a pain in the neck to get to any legit mountains or beaches. But on the negative side, this area is just so flat and lacking in personality, except for a bit of fake hipster in Dallas and fake cowboy in Fort Worth. And the weather is utter shit--hot in the summer, windy in the winder, tornadoes and allergies to deal with all spring. Again, it's not a horrible place, but there aren't many people writing poems about North Texas.

So it's funny that forces have seemed to unite to make this the easiest place for me to be right now. I have a good enough job that pays all right (but less than my education/experience merit). It's better relationship wise. And two of my closest friends are here--both of whom I saw last night at a party in Ft. Worth that turned into a bit of a redneck-fest thanks to their neighbors who like to wrestle and play Skynyrd (and these people are in the trendiest neighborhood in Ft. Worth).

So that leaves me with only one other place where I'm 90 to 95% certain I could be even happier, and that's Atlanta--because I still have a lot of friends in that area, plus my parents. Plus the climate is better, it's prettier, and on a whole I just think it's a nicer city than Dallas. And now I'm put in the weird position that as much as I might like to pick up and move to a place that truly interests me, there stands a good possibility I could leave and like the city better, yet not be as happy as I would here, despite the fact that it has been both 40 and 85 in the last 5 days.

* And out of that group, I now only see my family. You now how it is sometimes possible to google your own name and find it in some unlikely place? Maybe I should do that with people I went to high school with in hopes that they find their own name here and it leads them to me and we all do a happy little dance of joy and [insert witty remark here]. James Reichert? Lonnie Worley? Jeremy Knowles? Meghna Gupta? Where are you people at? Why is it that I couldn't get away from marginal college acquaintances if I wanted to, yet the high school ones are all gone? Does this have to do with when the internet became popular? Or did everyone just hate me in high school? Or is it because Georgia Tech alums are all super geniuses and know how to manage our shit? (I'm not even sure what that last line means.)