Everything Hits At Once

~ Last night I had a strange dream. I had apparently taken a job interview over the phone and been offered a position. I then took this position, located in Valdosta, GA, without ever visiting the company or having any idea what the job really entailed. I made the journey there in a car with my parents and sister, and during the car ride my sister and I bickered about the advantages of living in a high rise building. Upon arriving at the job site, I learned it was in a strip mall. Also, the company was some sort of start up and I was going to be the head of some department. While talking to my new boss, who had four nostrils, I realized I was way out of my league and not qualified for the job, and I started wondering why I ever took it--and why they would ever hire me, unless the company was so awful that they had been forced to settle with me.

There are many strange, noteworthy things about this dream (4 nostrils?). But the one that I feel the need to comment on most is this: there is no amount of money on the planet that could ever bring me to take a job in Valdosta, GA. I can't think of a single reason I would ever move there. I think I'd work at Starbucks in some generic suburb or some small, western town before living in Valdosta, which is ridiculously flat and humid and not near anything worth while whatsoever.

Actually, as I type this out I'm already having second thoughts. Although it WOULD certainly be very flat, if I could have a much higher salary and a lot of land and a big brick house, maybe I would live near Valdosta. But only if this land was a mixture of woods and open fields. Preferably with a lake. And horses (or at least mules).

~ Maybe this merited it's own post that would go mostly unnoticed, but I did go to the Bodyworlds exhibit a while back (I would link to the page, but I'm lazy and if you don't know what it is by now you should probably stop living in a cave). It was somewhat expensive (maybe 20+ for a ticket), but I can't really say it was unworth it because it's an exhibit unlike any other. Where else can you see dead bodies made into art (sic)? I'd estimate that it takes about 90 minutes to walk through the entire exhibit. The most impressive piece was the man on a horse, where both of them have gone through the whole plastic process. Some of the other neat ones are when you get to see healthy parts next to a not-so-healthy part, like smoker lungs next to regular lungs, or drinker liver next to normal liver, or regular heart next to grease-eater heart. Also, any thing (bird, man, etc) that had everything removed except the bones and blood vessels was pretty cool. Newsflash: we have a lot of capillaries in our bodies.

For those who are curious about such things, there is absolutely nothing gross about the exhibit. There is no smell. There are tons of people and children and I didn't see a single person acting as if they might be ill. It's really like being in a museum with a lot of models--just ones that are remarkably accurate. They also had an IMAX showing on the human body--I don't know if that's the norm or if it's just a Dallas thing. In any case, I'd say that is NOT worth the money. It's 45 boring minutes that basically rehashes a junior high health class.

~ A guy at work likes to use the phrase "Busting Heavies," as a sarcastic quip about being busy when he's not. As in, if he's sitting there doing nothing and you go by and say sarcastically "Working hard to day?" he will respond "Yeah, I'm busting heavies." I believe they've had a similar expression at every place I've every worked. For example, at one place a guy would say "I'm all bowed (bode?) (bo'ed?) up!" Don't ask me to explain the etymology of that one.

Still, I find this one most amusing, mostly because it sounds like it should be the domain name for one of those reality web site, like Bangbus. I mean, is it just me who thinks that if you type BustinHeavies.com into your browser window you should find a couple of skeezy looking guys with washboard abs, tattoos, receding hairlines, and goatees, and these guys should be cruising around with a hand held camera and "coincidentally" bumping into chubby ladies who are all too eager to hop into a car with a couple of strangers and have sexual relations on camera? I don't think I'm alone here. I think you even know the exact type of girl I'm talking about--the ones with bleached blond (or purplish-red) hair, short skirts, low cut tops, a tattoo of a butterfly on their shoulder (or next, or spine), a pack of smokes, tons of cheap jewelry, and an ass the size of Nebraska.

~ I've not been to an actual movie theater since December, despite the fact that the American Film Institute has been having some inaugural annual film festival here in Dallas and many big names (David Lynch!) have been in attendance. But I have caught up on a lot of movies from last year as they were released on DVD. Here are my verdicts:

Excellent: Babel
Good: Children of Men, The Prestige, Tristram Shandy
Sort of Good: The Illusionist, Hollywoodland, Blood Diamond
Okay: Idiocracy, For Your Consideration
I'm Not Sure: Casino Royale, Stranger than Fiction, A Scanner Darkly
Overrated: L'Enfant (The Child)
Bad: Talladega Nights