Everything Hits At Once

Why can't dreams be real? For that matter, why can't nightmares be real? Wouldn't that make life more interesting?

This week I've twice woken up to the sound of my alarm and been greeted by the familiar feeling of dreams being interrupted. These weren't the ordinary, dull dreams that leave you wondering aloud why your mother would ever show up at your office dressed in a gorilla suit. They were the vivid, powerful, almost beautiful type that come along every now and then and always leave you wanting more, so that you're faced to wonder why life can't be more like those dreams. Why isn't real life more like a story book?

I don't know if it's a uniquely American phenomenon or not, but there is no doubt that people of my generation have had their expectations raised due to movies and literature. Show me a reasonably attractive, normal twenty-something who's overly picky about relationships and I'll inevitably show you someone who has a borderline obsession with films or books or music or some other medium that's convinced them that our lives should be filled with powerful emotions and meaningful moments.

The other day I was watching "Stranger than Fiction," the Will Ferrell/Emma Thompson movie that is somewhat overrated.* ( The movie itself is rather trite and tries to be too many things at once. A film can't pull off "deep" or "meaningful" when they infuse it with silly, typical romantic comedy scenes that revolve around cookies.** In any case, there are some likable parts and one thing in particular seems appropriate now. It's suggested (through Dustin Hoffman's character) that some people are obsessed with tragic stories. I know that I actually prefer tragic stories. I don't know that I want my life to be a tragedy, though. I don't want anyone to die and I'm pretty sure that I don't possess enough talent at any one thing to be confused with one of those guys who throws it all away.***

But I think there are a lot of people who DO want to make their lives into tragedies. I'm not talking about the over-the-top drama queen (or king) who always want to be the center of attention and claim that the sky is falling every day. I'm not even talking about the typical, unimaginative Gen-X dude (or dudette) who's either consciously or unconsciously playing the part of Holden Caulfield****. I'm talking about the person who repeatedly gets into relationships for the wrong reason (he's so cute!!) even though they are ultimately doomed to fail because they have different backgrounds or political leanings or family values. Then they wonder what's wrong with the world at the end of the day because they can't find the true love and happiness that comes so easy for Bridget Jones or some Lad Lit guy, when deep down they know they are sabotaging themselves by trying to squeeze a rectangular peg into a oval-shaped hole all because that rectangular peg looks great in her jeans and she's available and lives next door, so who cares if she has three kids and a history of getting fired from jobs because she's a kleptomaniac?

It's all so exasperating, so why can't life be more like our dreams instead? Why can't I find myself eating ice cream with my number one girl and suddenly stumbling upon a briefcase filled with money? And then all my old friends show up, dating all the way back to childhood, and all my enemies also show up and realize that their lives pale in comparison to mine. Life would be much easier this way.

* Why put Kristin Chenoweth in a movie for all of 30 seconds? Couldn't she have been given Queen Latifah's pointless part?

** Come to think of it, this is not the first time this has happened with a Maggie Gyllenhaal movie. "Secretary" goes from black comedy to feel-good romance flick in the last 10 minutes for no apparent reason.

*** Actually, my chili making skills are quite superb, but there is no need to fear, as I do not plan of depriving the world of my spicy, meaty nectar of the gods.

**** See "The Good Girl," which has that other Gyllenhaal kid. [Feel free to insert your own lame, over-done Brokeback joke here].